Are you a Finisher or a Starter?Dec 13, 2019
Maybe you’ve have heard this phrase in the self-help and goal-setting space.
Maybe you’re like me and kind of didn’t recognize it as a validating thought approach because it seemed too much like the self-talk morning moments that become pretty popular lately. I have never quite understood how someone repeating, “Today is going to be wonderful. Today I am happy.” was going to really make a difference in me having a wonderful or happy day. I’ve always been someone who felt what needed to be felt at the moment. Call me crazy but the world tells me what I should be thinking or feeling 24/7, why the hell would I listen to someone do that to me first thing in the morning? But, to each their own. If it works for you great, but to me it this type of self-help has always seemed a bit like the programming for Stepford Wives, and the term “limited beliefs” felt like we were being told that now we need to be told what we need to believe too.
The more I began to understand about why I love investing in women small business owners to learn the grit to see the reality of their dreams and have freedom for their families, the more I began to understand that if I wanted to see the reality of my dreams I need to take head-on one limiting belief in particular for myself. Marie Forleo called them, “crappy stories”, we tell ourselves to keep us small. I just call it the BS I need to call myself out on, and for me, it’s the BS “crappy little story” that I am a starter, not a finisher.
I realized I wasn’t alone in this BS I needed to call myself out on during my recent challenge for women small business owners to gain clarity around their WHY for their businesses/lives. (their mission, purpose, values) When I shared with them I felt like I was a great starter but being a finisher took a lot of work for me I received unanimous “OMG, me too!” In the challenge, I ask the women to create a commitment contract and so many of them wrote, “I am a starter, not a finisher but by the end of the challenge I believe knowing my WHY will hopefully help that no longer be who I am.”
WOW, do so many of us feel we are starters and not finishers? Do we all have this, yes I am going to say it, limited belief?
After seeing that so many of these boss, beautiful women entrepreneurs felt like they weren’t finishers I knew I needed to really take a look at this in myself. I knew this was part of my mindset in the way that I overlook (or puddle jump) my successes, but I didn’t realize that I look forward to starting instead of looking forward to finishing was holding me back from my dreams. The truth is, it was, and I want to share with you what I have learned about finishing so that together we can be obsessed about finishing as much as we are about starting!
What keeps you from finishing:
Fear & Hesitation. If you define yourself as a procrastinator it’s time to stop defining yourself that way. Somewhere in that little girl procrastinator is some fear you haven’t written down and faced, and it is a limited belief that was created in you to keep you safe from something I promise you really aren’t afraid of anymore. Write it down and face it.
Interruptions. Did you know that on an average day you are interrupted every 3 minutes? That is terrifying to me but who am I kidding, as moms & entrepreneurs we know the only time we can really get the ish done in our businesses is to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn or to lock ourselves in an Airbnb somewhere. (Ask me if you want to know my favorite place to stay!)
Overthinking. I’ll be honest, this one is one I have said I deal with but I’m actually a pretty quick decision-maker. Sometimes too quick, and thus as I age overthinking has become a limited belief for me that if I think about something long enough I won’t make a mistake. The truth is, if the decisions I make to act are interrupted every 3 minutes, mistakes are going to happen no matter what. So, just make the decision and go for it. I promise you’ll figure it out. You’ve gotten this far, right?
Trying your damnest to be P E R F E C T. Oh Mama, my sister, girlfriend, and all the affectionate imperatives, the fight with perfection is the limited belief that will keep you singing the “Let it Go” song from Frozen and not letting it go so you can move on to build that snowman. If you struggle with perfectionism & you’re a mompreneur, I can only recommend one thing. Find a support group of other women you can come to with your situations to receive the perspective that there is another way. This is the only thing that helped put me on the road to recovery.
Squirreling. Different than interruptions this is on you. This is the limited belief that keeps you from finishing because you are telling yourself whatever it is you started isn’t worth as much as the next thing. In this social media, online space we live today this one is hard. Everyone is telling you theirs is better, and we are taught to go for the better value. Learn your pattern for squirreling and make it a habit to put value to your time & work. The grass isn’t greener if you don’t stay long enough to water it.
I’d love to hear from you on your journey of self-love and self-knowledge to call yourself out on your BS of only being a starter and not a finisher?
Share with me if you struggle with any one of the above reasons for not finishing or like me you’ve struggled with several?
Have you found anything that has provided you with the motivation to push through and finish?
What has provided the cure for me every time I relapse. (believe me, I am an addict at starting) I become obsessed with my WHY for my life and business. My WHY becomes my motivation to keep going brick by brick. When I look at each project, goal, or dream I have through the lens of my WHY that limiting belief that it isn’t possible to accomplish, the fear or hesitation, overthinking, the thought that something else would be more valuable to spend my time on; it stays in the hazy, no-in-focus background. All I can see is the steps I need to take towards completion.
If you’d like to gain the clarity of knowing your WHY, if you have been feeling like there is a limited belief keeping you from focusing on the reality of your dreams for your small mompreneurship, I’ll be hosting another #10DaystoWHY challenge. Check my website for the next date and join me, and tons of other BizMoms who once called ourselves starters but limited ourselves to believe we were finishers.