Is Your Self-Care REAL?

self-care self-love Feb 10, 2020

Why do you keep ignoring the real-type of self-care?

Every time you scroll social media you probably see at least one, if not two posts, calling you to the action of scheduling time for your “self-care”. Go ahead, go scroll your feed, count them. I'll wait. How many quotes about knowing your worth, turning off your cell phone, and taking a little time away do you see?

A few weeks ago, I was reminded why all these “reminders” of self-care are bombarding us. I believe they are a cry out for REAL self-care.

Because we, and by we, I mean women and primarily women with children, a spouse and a business (or some combination of the few) are not taking care of ourselves. We are ignoring all the signs. We are choosing to do pretend self-care with traveling for business, a few moments enjoying a bath bomb, and buying ourselves that “need-to-have” item at a friend’s online party.

It’s almost become the new feminist rally cry, “Do it in the name of self-care, Sister!” *fist pump*

And maybe my contrariness is too much for you and spending a few hours at the salon is enough for you, but from my personal experience and the more I see those around me. We are not promoting the type of self-care to each other that is actually the kind we need. The kind that will save each other’s lives, and the kind that will allow us to continue to take care of all of the things we care so much about. We are promoting a self-care that should be the add-ons or the cherry on top of the empowerment to advocate for ourselves and our overall health. So many of us are silent about our own health issues to the point no one would even consider offering their support because they don’t even know. For as much as we are good at listening and acting on what are the needs of our customers, our companies, our kids, and our partners we are not very good at actively listening to what we need personally and then even worse on following through on it.

So what can be done?

Should we start a movement of #selfcareforreal?

Create campaigns that are promoting how to talk with your spouse or co-workers about needing a day off to do blood work.

Maybe create a Facebook Community for handling self-care discrimination?

Write a book about the real reason you're not a badass is because you’re killing yourself with burnout?

I guess what I am trying to say is, am I the only one who feels the “self-care” movement missed the boat? Am I the only one who felt like I was doing what I felt was the right way yet somehow I still feel spent and burned out? Is it wrong for me to need more than a bath bomb and a glass of wine, and instead want support and community that goes further than “let’s get together for girl-time”?

I’m not sure where I am going with this other than to ask you, my followers, friends, women building businesses in this online world…

Do you really do REAL self-care? Or are you like me and did enough to weaponize your share of that “Top 10 Ways to do better self-love” post so your sisters to think it was enough for them too?

photo credit Dani DiPirro @positivelypresent